As many of us know from our early 20’s, holding down two or more jobs can make your head spin and your body hurt. And when one of those jobs is being a parent, the stakes get even higher. It’s a tough gig; your paycheck from one job feels ever more crucially important with little ones to support, while your second, 24/7 job is paid entirely in spit up and giggles.
For the work at home parent, the game is completely different. Working two jobs at once can often feel like you aren’t accomplishing either very well; leaving you exhausted and dissatisfied. Check out these quick tips to help you be more successful at both.
Use Visual Cues
If your kiddos are old enough to play on their own, visual cues can be a great tool to communicate to them when mommy or daddy needs alone time to work.
One way to accomplish this is to wear a certain hat or piece of clothing when you are working. Maybe a tiara or Indiana Jones hat. Don’t forget that keeping things silly and fun goes a long way in getting little ones to cooperate.
If you have a separate home office, another helpful visual can be to place something on the closed door handle so your kids will know when to enter. Consider using colored construction paper for a ‘green light, yellow light, red light’ system.
Green light means come on in if you need something or want a cuddle. Yellow light means mom or dad is busy so please only interrupt if it’s important. Use red light for meetings or when working towards an important deadline—meaning entry should be for emergencies only.
Remember, though, that a system like this one is only effective if it’s used consistently sometimes benefits the kids. The ‘red light’ quickly loses its power if you’re using it almost all the time.
Find the Right Times to Work
For many parents of wee little ones, your children are at an age where they don’t understand and cannot handle separation from mommy or daddy. This is when nap times become your best friend.
Even so, we all know there are days when naptime just doesn’t seem to happen. On those days, wearing a sling at the computer can be a game changer, allowing you to get your work done and keep your baby calm and close to you.
Get used to waking with the sun, or even before. Depending on your children’s sleep schedules, early morning can be the quietest time of the day for you to work, and many people find those early hours to be their most productive.
Set Up Your Work Space For Safety and Success
Have a safe office space, corner, or even just a chair that is your consistent work spot. Clutter from your house, life, and children is not allowed in this space. It can be difficult to really let your mind be in work mode if toys are strewn about under your desk.
On the flip side, if you have toddlers who don’t understand the concept of mommy or daddy being unavailable, it can be helpful to set up a corner play area to keep your little ones occupied. Rotate the toys every few weeks to keep it exciting, and take frequent breaks to reconnect with your little one.
Young children love to imitate mommy and daddy, so perhaps setting up their play area as a mini work space with an old cell phone or computer has the potential to buy you a few hours of time a week.
A little preparation goes a long way. Ensure that your office or work space is child proofed. Watch for the outlets, table corners, sharp scissors, etc. Suffice it to say, you will be much more focused if you aren’t concerned with trips to the emergency room.
Communicate Honestly with Clients and Coworkers
There are some who advocate being up-front about having children and working from home with coworkers and clients, feeling that most people will understand and empathize with your situation. However, there are some who are uncomfortable with this kind of openness for a variety of reasons.
If you are one of these people, the conference call can be a huge source of stress for you, necessitating that you mute your side on conference calls to prevent any unwanted child screams to break through into your meeting.
If this doesn’t work, try making a game of meeting times. When mommy is wearing the pirate hat, we must be as quiet as possible not to wake the sea monster. However be warned, after the call is over, your little one has definitely earned a game of monster tickles.
Prepare to Need Occasional Childcare
I know part of the reason you wanted to work from home was so you didn’t have to put your kids in daycare, but hear us out. Sometimes it may be necessary with big projects or stressful weeks to have someone else there to look after your baby or toddler. Having even just one afternoon of uninterrupted work time can mean the difference between finishing a project and having to make that, “Something came up unexpectedly…” call.
If childcare is financially challenging, keep in mind that you will always be home, a few steps away from your baby, so it may behoove you to find a young person you trust, a family friend or someone who lives in the neighborhood, to watch your child for a much reduced rate than what more experienced babysitters might charge.
Or if you’re involved with a community of other WAHP’s, organize a large playdate once a week or so with one paid babysitter to watch all of the children while the moms and dads work. This can save money and give your children an opportunity to make new friends and improve social skills.
Plan For the Week Ahead
Have a weekly planning meeting with yourself. Giving yourself just thirty minutes a week to clearly delineate a plan of attack can increase your productivity tenfold. Consider using a dry erase calendar to give you a clear structure with the important tasks for each day. By planning ahead, you leave as little as possible up to your future, frazzled, baby rocking self.
Another great way to make the day flow easier is to make your lunches first thing in the morning. It can be easy to forget to eat or eat well with children at home. You’re making their lunch and next thing you know the food is flying and you’re caught cleaning up, grabbing just a granola bar for yourself. Make something healthy in the morning to ensure that you keep a healthy diet.
Treat Yourself Like a Professional: Not Just Mom or Dad
It can be difficult, in the midst of little hands outstretched to you at all times, to remember that you’re not just Mom or Dad. You’re a person. You’re a professional person with needs and dreams. A professional person whose professional portfolio had glitter on it at the last conference, yes, but a professional person nonetheless.
It can be easy to forget this fact. Help yourself remember it each day by dressing for work. It doesn’t have to be a power suit, but something that you can wear outside of the house—something that makes you feel good!
And get out of the house! Attend local networking events, meetings, or conferences. This will keep you from getting too isolated in a world full of people who can’t go to the bathroom on their own. It will keep you focused on the other world you exist in, where sentences are longer than three words.
Ask For Help
In the age of ‘everyone knows more about parenting your child than you do’, there is tremendous pressure to do it all. Pressure to do it all perfectly and independently. But you don’t have to. Asking for help is a sign of strength and organization. On a personal level, you can ask for help from your spouse, your parents, or friends.
On a professional level, consider outsourcing anything to do with your job or small business that isn’t related to your core competency. Hire a freelancer to design your business cards and website, or an accountant to keep track of the books for you. Free up your time to focus on the tasks that are most significant.
Be Where You Are
If you aren’t working, it’s important to do your best to be present in mommy or daddy land. Give your children your undivided attention whenever possible. Children will be less clingy when they feel secure in the attention, affection, and love that they’re receiving. Read together. Take game breaks throughout the day. Make mealtimes technology free.
It’s also important to express gratitude to your little ones when you are able to work peacefully. No matter how small their vocabulary is, the littlest baby understands a happy parent.
Reward Yourself
You are literally doing two jobs at once, you crazy person! Don’t lose sight of what an incredible feat this is. Reward yourself for the little things and take small steps.
Especially if you are running your own business, don’t put too much pressure on yourself each day. Your business will probably not go public in a year while taking care of a 3 month old and a 4 year old. Take small steps, and remember to enjoy the journey.
